Seeking Solace
by Runic Knight
Summary: [Haitus] Tohru's memory is erased, and nothing seems the same. What is she missing in her new life? Uotani and Hanajima know her missing past, can they (along with the indirect help of Kyou and Yuki) help her regain her memories?
1. From the Eyes of an Onigiri

**Seeking Solace**  
The Eyes of an Onigiri

________________________

Honda Tohru, a sixteen year old with a bright smile, walked down the hall, heading towards her classroom. She wanted to meet Uo-chan and Hana-chan, who were the best friends she has ever known. The hallways were unusually crowded, so she had to manoeuver around people carefully. She quickened her pace as she passed Prince Yuki's fan club. She couldn't remember any reason for them to hate her, but they would always give her deathly glares. Luckily, they didn't notice her that day - they were much too busy fawning over the Prince himself.

The Prince looked disinterested, you could even say bored to be in their company. He would smile at them, but his gaze looked right through them. Tohru noticed that his deep purple eyes had lost some of their lustre. She didn't know how she knew, but something was definitely different about him. He caught her looking at him, and he seemed to smile genuinely at her. He quickly looked away and continued the dry conversation he was having with Motoko, the leader of the Princesses, Yuki's "official" fan club.

_Okaa-san, my life seems so strange since you've been gone. I've lived outside, sleeping in a tent. I know that I stopped living out there for some reason, but why was that? There seems to be some time, a few weeks maybe, which I cannot seem to remember for the life of me. A piece of me is missing, I know it. Uo and Hana think I'm acting different too, but I'll try to adapt. I don't want them to worry about me. What am I missing? I have my part time job, and soon I'll be able to get my own place. Maybe I'll be able to find an inexpensive room to rent. I wonder where I stayed before? It sure is a mystery. I can't give up hope, I know the answers will come to me. You've always told me to do my best, no matter what._

"Oy, Tohru!"

Tohru nearly jumped out of her skin, she had been so wrapped up in her thoughts. She had found her way to the classroom. "Ah, Uo-chan! You surprised me." She waved to her tall blonde friend, who was clad in her gang's facial mask that day.

"Are you alright, Tohru-chan? You seem a little... distressed today." Hanajima's voice was smooth and calm, but Tohru could tell that she was full of worry.

"Don't worry about me, it's nothing. Really!" Tohru insisted. She changed the subject, and the three discussed the coming exams. While they talked, the classroom started to fill with students; school was about to start.

The bell had already rung, but one student was late that day. There was a loud bang at the door, and the closest boy opened it. "You're late again, Kyon-kyon." He teased with a laugh. "Don't you ever call me that." The red headed boy glared at him, stomped to his seat and sat down.

He grumbled in his chair, mumbling about having to eat a very crisp breakfast and having no milk. The teacher coughed loudly and he shut up.

The teacher gave them an assignment, and once there was a lull in his lecture, Tohru turned around in her seat to talk to Uo. "Uo-chan, who was that who was late for class? Is he a new student here?"

Uotani gave her friend an amused look and laughed. "Tohru, I think you've been studying too much lately. That's Kyou, of course. He's been here for a few weeks now." Hana didn't laugh, she kept quiet and thought to herself, 'Tohru hasn't been talking to Kyou or Yuki recently....their electric waves seem to be lacking energy. Something is peculiar.'

"Oh, that's right, I remember now," Tohru lied with a little laugh. "How could I forget?" Hana frowned, and continued to work on an assignment.

Several rows behind and to the left, Kyou leaned back in his chair and sighed. Tohru truly didn't remember ever having met the Sohma's. She only knew that Yuki was the Prince of their highschool. She didn't even remember the day that they she had met Kyou. _Akito's Ultimatum_. He had decreed that Tohru knew far too much about the Sohma family, much more than any outsider had ever known. At first, he allowed her to continue living at Shigure's house, but he grew weary of her as he realized that she had found a place in even the coldest of the juunishi's hearts. He ordered Hatori to erase her memory. Akito said that she couldn't be anything to them; she was merely seeking solace in their "warmth". Like a lost little puppy. Nothing more.

________________________

  
  


**Author Notes:**   
First chapter; Uploaded April 16th 2003.   
I do not own the rights to any of the characters mentioned in this fan fiction.

**Language Translations:**   
Okaa-san - mother


	2. Caught in a Memory

**Seeking Solace**  
Caught in a Memory

________________________

There had been a meeting among the members of student parliament recently, and today was the day that they would report some of the upcoming school events and fund-raisers. Yuki was highly involved with the student council, and he was speaking at the front of the classroom. Most of the girls in the class were sitting on the edges of their seats, listening to Yuki's every word. 

"We will be running a community group called "Helping Hands." Each student in our school will be paired up with a student in the junior highschool to help them out."

"Helping Hands? Ugh, that has to be the _imaginative_ mind of Sohma Yuki." the indignant voice of Kyou rang out. He was silenced by the frightening scowls of Yuki's followers.

Yuki didn't lose composure, he gave Kyou a smug smile, then continued on. "Next year, these students will be in their first year of highschool. We will be here to help them start their year out on the right foot, to show them what to expect in their coming year. Each person will be paired with a student, and you are all expected to be understanding and encouraging to your buddy."

_What an interesting idea, Okaa-san. I wish they had a program like this when I was in junior high. I would have been a lot more prepared for all of the hard work I had to face this year._

"I know a lot of you are thinking, 'what do we get out of this?' Well, we will be allowed to reinstate the school dance this year if this program runs without a hitch." This sentence was met with excited whispers from the students from their seats. The school dances had been cancelled one year because of the strange ideas of a student president years ago. Sohma Ayame had caused a large ruckus between the students and the school faculty, and the dance had never been restored. Finally, the students would be given a chance to take back the dance.

_Oh, a dance, Okaa-san, how exciting! I've never gone to one before. Maybe it would be fun. No matter who I'm paired up with, I'll try to help them the best that I can!_

Yuki continued on with the details of the program. There would be three one-hour sessions to talk about highschool life with their younger partner.

________________________

It was the first day for the program to run. Tohru and her fellow students would meet their partners. Yuki had instructed them to be casual, walk up to one of them and introduce themselves. Tohru wasn't the bravest person when it came to meeting new people, but she was ready to try her best.

Most of the highschoolers had already integrated themselves into the senior junior high classroom and were talking with their new 'little buddy'. Tohru watched everyone for a few minutes to see what they would all talk about. 

She must have stood there longer than she thought, because she felt a tap on her shoulder. She spun around to see Yuki standing there.

"Tohr- er, Honda-san. Do you not know who to choose for your partner?"

"Gomenasai, Sohma-san! Gomenasai! I dazed out a little there." She bowed several times to prove how apologetic she was.

Yuki couldn't help but grin. Even now, Tohru would still be Tohru. "It's alright, don't worry. Hmm. Why don't you go talk to that boy sitting in the second row? He still needs a partner."

"Arigatou!" With another bow, Tohru headed off to meet the young looking boy.

'I miss you...Please come home.' Those were the words that Yuki yearned to say, but they would never be heard by Tohru. They could never be spoken, not with things they were. More than anything else, he wanted to run after her and talk to her as Yuki, not the facade of the highschool prince.

________________________

"Hello, I'm Honda Tohru!" Tohru greeted, holding out her hand to the blond boy sitting in the desk that Yuki had pointed out to her. She knew he was only a year younger than herself, but had she not known better, she would have guessed he was several years younger.

He lifted his head to look up at her, surprised to see her familiar face. He stared in disbelief, but he recovered quickly. He accepted her hand and shook it in a friendly manner. "Hi, Toh-ru!" he nearly sang in reply. "Nice to meet you!"

"What's your name?" Tohru asked.

The question stung more than it should have. "Sohma Momiji." He knew he should have been prepared for the question. His very own mother didn't remember his name, why would Tohru be different?

"Oh, so you must be related to Sohma-san, ne? No wonder he directed me to you!"

"Yup, yup! We're cousins!" He pointed around the room. "See, Kyou, from your class is our cousin too. And also that black and white haired boy over there with him, he is as well. He is Hatsuharu." 

"Ah, I see! It must be nice to be able to see your family so much." Before she had even finished that sentence, Tohru looked over to see that Kyou and the one Momiji called Hatsuharu had ended up being partners, much to the dismay of Kyou. Even at their location on the opposite side of the room, Tohru could hear snippets of their conversation. It sounded as if an all-out battle would have erupted between the two if several people hadn't stopped Kyou from provoking Hatsuharu. The younger students had all seen outbursts of Haru's rage, and it was not a pretty sight. It was always avoided at all costs. The older students knew that if there was any trouble, their precious dance would not go on. No student in that classroom wanted a brawl to start.

Tohru watched across the room in worry. She had never witnessed a fight (to her current state of recollection, at least) and she was hoping that she wouldn't have to see one that day. Someone could be gravely hurt. To distract her from the commotion, Momiji put his hand in his uniform's jacket pocket and pulled out a package of fruit flavoured candies. "Would you like one?" He took a strawberry candy out of the wrapper and handed it to her.

"Arigatou, Momiji-san! I love strawberries!" She accepted the gift.

"I knew you would, Toh-ru!" He gave her a mysterious smile. "No need for formalities though, please no -san."

"If you wish, Momiji-kun," Tohru said with a smile. "I'm sure we'll get to be good friends." She didn't notice the vacant expression on his face. "Highschool can be tough, but it's a lot of fun too. You always have to be prepared though. Okaa-san always said that everything that you have accomplished will help you in your future. Your time in junior high is the first step to being fully educated and ready for the real world." She rambled on, telling him everything that Yuki had instructed them to talk about, plus advice from her mother that she was certain would be important. 

Momiji listened to her every word, but a part of his mind stuck on the phrase, "everything that you have accomplished will help you in your future." _Demo, demo, Toh-ru...you've forgotten some of your accomplishments...your impact on my, the Sohma's, lives._

"Ne, ne, Toh-ru!" Momiji cut in. "Sometimes, important things in your life become lost. I have a metaphorical question for you...If one puzzle piece is lost, can you ever call the puzzle complete?"

Tohru closed her eyes in thought. "I think...that there is always a way to find that lost important thing. As long as you keep your chin up and try your best. Can I ask about this important thing?"

"Well, it's several things, vital people who I've 'lost touch' with in a way...very complicated. I wouldn't want to worry you about it, Toh-ru!" He could still see her distress about him written all over her face, so he quickly put her fears to rest. "Don't worry about me! I'll remember all the advice you've given me, I'm sure I can put some of it to use!"

The school bell suddenly rang. The volume of the classroom rose as the students rushed to file out of the class for recess. The highschoolers would be returning to their school for their afternoon classes.

"Well, good-bye Momiji! See you next week, we've still got two more sessions, you know."

"Hai!" He gave her his childish smile. "See you next week!" _Toh-ru. Another person whom I remember vividly. Just like Okaa-san and just like onee-chan...she does not remember the moments that she spent with me. I will try to be strong-willed like you, Tohru, so that I may help you when you need me, just like you used to do for me._

________________________

  
  


**Author Notes:**   
Second chapter; Uploaded April 25th 2003.   
_I was so distraught when I finished writing this chapter. I was typing it up on my old early 90's computer *sweatdrop* because the newer computer was in use. I typed it all up, proof read it about three times to catch grammar mistakes (I hope I caught them all), and ran spell check. Everything was ready. The only thing left to do was save. Suddenly, there was an error! Wah! I kept hitting the ignore, and I had to hit it many times and I was scared I would lose all my work. Then, it finally returned to the normal screen, and I saved it to disk. As soon as saving was complete, and it was safe on disk, a new message box came up and the computer performed a fatal error and shut down. X_X Good thing I got it saved to disk first! I just had to share my near-trauma! XD Please review if you have the chance too!_   
I do not own the rights to any of the characters mentioned in this fan fiction.

**Language Translations:**   
Okaa-san - Mother   
Gomenasai - I'm sorry   
Arigatou - Thank you   
Ne - Right / Hey   
Demo - But   
Onee-chan - Sister


	3. Looking for the Way

**Seeking Solace**  
Looking for the Way

________________________

"So how did you like going to the junior highschool, Uo-chan?" Tohru asked. After the school day was over, Uotani, Hanajima and Tohru had gathered in the locker room.

"Eh, it was alright, I guess. I got stuck with this hyper active girl, gah, she didn't sit still for more than 2 seconds at a time." Uotani sighed. "Reminds me of why I hated going to school when I was younger. Too many annoying people."

"Isn't that still the case, Arisa?" As Hana said that, the Princesses walked by, loudly giggling about frivolous matters.

Uotani laughed. "You know, you're right. If it weren't for you two, I bet I'd have been insane by now."

Tohru closed her locker. "Well, I think I've got everything I need. I've got to get going so I wont be late for work. I'm working until midnight tonight."

"That's later than usual, isn't it?" Uotani asked her. "Yuki will come and pick you up so you wont have to walk home in the night, won't he? Or Kyou?"

A confused look came across Tohru's face. "Huh? Why would they do that? I barely know the Prince, and I don't think I've ever even spoken to Kyou."

"Hm." Only that small sound was emitted from Hanajima.

"I see." Uotani raised an eyebrow and exchanged glances with Hana.

There was a few seconds of awkward silence, but Tohru broke it. "Well, sorry guys, but I've got to go. See you tomorrow!" She smiled, and with a wave, she was off on her way. 

"Mystifying." Hana said simply.

Once she knew that Tohru was out hearing's reach, Uotani voiced her confusion. "What's up with Tohru? She seemed to be getting so close with those two, but now...she has cut all ties to them."

"So it seems. I hope that nothing is wrong between them."

"Yeah," Uotani agreed. "If they've done anything to hurt Tohru, they'll be hearing from me." Her right hand met her left in a fist. "I wonder why she wont tell us what is wrong?"

Hanajima closed her eyes in thought, turning away. "Maybe she can't tell us...something is definitely different about her electrical signals. With Kyou and Yuki too, I believe. Are you busy right now?"

"Yeah, sorry. I've got to go to work at four o'clock. You have something in mind, Saki?"

"Maybe," Hanajima began mysteriously. "We can't get Tohru to tell us what the matter is, so why don't we go to the source? Sohma Yuki and Sohma Kyou."

"Sounds like you've got a plan." Uotani grinned.

"It's simple enough. I will call you later with my findings." Hana's lips slightly curved, forming a serious smile.

________________________

"I'll be sure to get the research completed before the next meeting. Goodbye." Yuki called out as he left the student council meeting room on the second floor. It was five minutes past four o'clock, and their meeting had already been adjourned. Yuki walked through the doorway and was face to face with Hanajima, who was leaning against the wall right beside the door. He nearly collided with her, but luckily stopped himself before there would be any reason for a transformation.

"S-Saki-chan." Yuki backed up a few steps. "I wasn't expecting to see you here, especially at this time of day."

"I've been waiting for you," she began. "I knew you would be here."

"Oh?"

The raven-haired girl stepped forward from the wall. "I just have a few questions for you, that is all." Her eyes seemed to be alive with fire, but that may have been Yuki's imagination. In the past, both Yuki and Kyou had spent several lunch hours with Saki Hanajima and Arisa Uotani in order to spend more time with Tohru, but Yuki had never really felt comfortable around either of them. Especially with Hanajima, whose stoic demeanor frightened him to this very day. Uotani simply reminded him of Kyou too much, and having both of them around at the same time made him feel a little overwhelmed.

Yuki found his mind wandering for a few seconds, but he pulled himself out of his thoughts. "Sure, Saki-san. I'll do the best I can."

"I must ask, has something happened between you and Tohru-chan? She never speaks of you, and you have not eaten lunch with us for a long time."

Yuki's jaw dropped open in surprise. When Hatori erased Tohru's memories, he also had to arrange for anyone who would remember Tohru ever living with the Sohmas to have their memories erased as well. Hanajima still knew. How could she know? Could Hatori's powers not work on the gifted psychic?

"Er, well, I have been very busy, what with all the events that are in planning for the school." Yuki explained, hoping that Hanajima would leave him alone. "I ...haven't had a lot of time for Tohru, so she probably just doesn't have any reason to speak of me." He couldn't think straight. "Or maybe we have grown apart."

Hanajima paced around him slowly in a circle as she spoke. "But... how could the two of you, you and Kyou, live in the same house with Tohru and never speak with her?"

"I..." Yuki couldn't think as fast as the psychic could talk. Tohru had confessed to Hana and Uo that she was living at the Sohma's after she had been there for several days. If Hanajima's memories were erased, then she should have still believed she was at her grandfather's house. There was no way he could tell them that she was back living outdoors in a tent once again. His mind raced, but he couldn't think of any words to say.

She continued. "Also, Kyou isn't involved with student council, so he wouldn't have those extra activities to take up his time." She stopped pacing once she was directly in front of him again. He avoided looking at her eyes, which looked empty. It was as if she were looking right into his soul. "Sohma Yuki, please tell me that you have done nothing to hurt Tohru. Both Arisa and I are very worried."

"I can tell you for sure that I have never done anything to hurt Tohru. I would never." Yuki said, it was the only thing that he _could_ say. As soon as the name 'Arisa' registered into his brain, he knew that her remembering couldn't have been because of Hanajima's psychic powers, since the Yankee knew as well.

"Sohma-san." Hanajima said in her dead-pan voice. "I do not wish for Tohru to be hurt, she is very special to us. We will protect her to the best of our ability. If you have something else you wish to explain, come to one of us." She stepped back, and with a slight bow, she walked down the hallway with her black cape fluttering behind her.

"She is very special to me too." Yuki agreed, whispering after she had already left. He was still in a daze. He had to get out of there, he had to go home and talk to Shigure.

________________________

"Shigure!" Yuki's voice pierced through the air of their small home. He had barely stepped in the door when he saw the grouchy face of Kyou, who was relaxing on the floor in their family room. He didn't not look pleased about the interruption in his cat-nap.

"Can't you look for him before you disturb the _entire_ neighbourhood?" he rolled over and faced the wall, trying to resume his sleep. "Kuso nezumi...if only I weren't too lazy to head to the roof." What little bit of tolerance Kyou had gained from being under Tohru's watchful eyes had disappeared during her extended absence.

"Baka neko...you know there aren't any houses around here. There are just fields of Sohma property surrounding this place." And Tohru's little tent.

Kyou was not too lazy to jump and retort, "Hey! You know what I mean! I challen-" He stopped himself mid-word when he noticed he was yelling at an empty room. Yuki had left the room and was heading towards Shigure's study. "Arrgh, don't walk away from a battle!"

Shigure was typing away at his computer when Yuki burst in. "Shigure! I've got to talk to you. It's urgent."

"Ah, Yuki, I didn't hear you come in." Shigure set down his pen and nibbled on a cookie, totally oblivious to Yuki's urgency.

"Really, come into the kitchen, I need to talk to you. It's really important!"

"Yuki, Yuki!" Shigure held his hand to his forehead in fake shock. I slave away in this room day after day in order to feed and clothe you, and my efforts go unapplauded. Must I stop my writing? Must I..." He made a highly unrealistic sobbing sound. "Oh, I can't go on!"

"Shigure! I'm serious!"

Shigure looked up with a grin plastered across his face. His smile faded when he saw Yuki's grave expression. "Well, I guess I'm coming then, ne?"

They walked into the kitchen. Kyou, who had followed Yuki to launch his attack against him, could also see that Yuki was distressed. He decided to call off the fight, grabbed the carton of milk, and joined them at the table. There were no objections, so he sat.

"So what's the trouble, Yuki-kun?" Shigure began.

"I was talking to Saki today. She knows about us. About how Tohru spent several weeks living with us. She and Arisa have not forgotten."

"What?!" Kyou couldn't help it. "Then why hasn't Tohru asked us about..anything? If her two best friends can remember...wouldn't she know by now?"

"My guess is that they aren't bothering Tohru about it. Or maybe...Tohru doesn't care about us."

"I highly doubt our little flower would ever think that, you both know her better than that." Shigure declared in attempt to lighten the mood. Kyou gave him a warning glance, but said nothing. "But you know, I'm not the right person to ask about this. I know as much as you do about this. You'll need Hatori, but I know that he's been really busy with treating Akito lately. It'd have to be an emergency to get him away from the main house."

"Isn't _this_ considered to be an emergency situation? They could be telling countless people, for all we know." Yuki said, exasperated.

"Not when Akito could be coming down with a cold, you know how weak he can get. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got work to do. If I don't get this done soon, I won't have enough time to scheme new ideas for teasing Mit-chan!" Shigure stood up and headed for his study.

Kyou sighed. "What are we supposed to do about this?"

Yuki took a few minutes to think. "An emergency situation, hm? I've got an idea."

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**Author Notes:**   
Third chapter; Uploaded April 30th 2003.   
_Thanks to all the kind reviewers! I love you all lots! *happy grin* I hope you like this chapter, I rather enjoyed writing the confrontation between Hana and Yuki. Go Hana for wanting to protect Tohru ^.^_   
I do not own the rights to any of the characters mentioned in this fan fiction.

**Language Translations:**   
Kuso Nezumi - Damn Mouse   
Baka Neko - Stupid Cat   
Ne - Right


	4. Hope is in Sight

**Seeking Solace**  
Hope is in Sight

________________________

The Sohma household was eerily silent, and there was a ring at the doorbell. Shigure continued working at his computer, assuming that either Yuki or Kyou would get the door. The doorbell rang again, this time twice in a row. 

"Yuki! Kyou!" Shigure whined. When the doorbell again rang, and he gave up waiting. He ran to the door. "Coming, coming!"

"Ha-san!" Shigure greeted the doctor who was standing at the door. "What a wonderful surprise. Taking time out of your busy schedule to visit little ol' me, How thoughtful!"

"Hai." The doctor nodded in reply. "Er....shouldn't you be in bed?"

"Well, I can be there if you want to be." Shigure grinned.

"No, I don't think that will be necessary." Hatori's expression remained consistent.

"Ah, Ha-san, you're no fun." He pouted.

"You're awfully chipper for someone who supposedly has a temperature of 104 degrees."

"Wow, that's a pretty intense temperature. Who was the little liar who called you here?"

"Yuki." Hatori could see that both Yuki and Kyou had walked into the room behind Shigure's back.

Shigure was surprised. "Yuki? Really? You sure it wasn't Kyou?"

"Hey! What's the meaning behind that remark, Shigure?!" Kyou made his presence known to the dog.

Shigure turned around. "Kyou! Yuki! How nice of you to join us!"

"Why do you say stuff like that?!"

Shigure held up his index finger. "One, squabbles make bland everyday life more interesting. Two, it's true that Yuki isn't usually the one to pull pranks. Three-"

Kyou could no longer hold himself back, and readied himself for attack. He mentally lined his fist with Shigure's cheek. Shigure knew he had gone too far, so he stepped back, causing Kyou to hurl himself forward into the coat hook by the door. He ended up tangled in a pile of old jackets.

Hatori sighed and shook his head at the scene which took place before him. "Stop this. I've got things to do today."

"Hai."

"Hai."

"Hai."

"Here, I'll take your coat, and we can go discuss things in the kitchen over tea." Yuki took his coat and draped it over Kyou's head. He was still trying to disentangle himself from the other jackets. 

"Really, Yuki, what the hell did I do to deserve this?!"

"You're the cat," he replied cooly, and joined Hatori and Shigure in the kitchen. 

Kyou grumbled and headed to the roof to cool off.

________________________

Hatori, Shigure and Yuki kneeled at the kitchen table, sipping tea as Yuki told them all of the details about Arisa Uotani and Saki Hanajima's memories of the Sohma's.

"So something _must_ have gone wrong." Yuki explained to his older cousins. "I've never heard of any of your patients regaining lost memories."

"No. Never has there been recorded evidence of a person regaining the memories that I locked away." Hatori insisted calmly.

"But Saki and-"

"Never once." Hatori interrupted harshly.

"Hatori! Think logically! Something must have been different for this to happen."

"It was indeed different." Hatori agreed. "But no, they did not regain lost memories."

Yuki couldn't hide his frustration. Shigure spoke, breaking the pause in the discussion. "Ha-san...does this mean that you didn't...you didn't erase their memories at all?"

Hatori took a deep sip of his tea. "That's right."

Yuki's eyes grew large. "What? Why? If Akito knew..."

"He won't know." Hatori set his cup down lightly, careful not to spill any of the warm liquid.

Yuki stared at the doctor sitting across from him. His long bangs covered half of his face, hiding any emotions which it bore. Looking at Hatori to try to learn what he was thinking was always hard to do. He was clouded by mystery. Hatori, the one Akito trusted with his life, would be the one to betray him. Who would have thought.

"Why, you want to know? I did this for Tohru. To give her a chance." Hatori said.

The mood was much to heavy for Shigure's likings. "Ha-san, you sure like your women young, eh?" His attempt did nothing to lighten the atmosphere of the room.

"Shigure." Hatori's voice sounded weary. Even so, he continued. "This is to give Tohru a chance at her memories. Kana's memories are forever sealed inside her mind. They will never be unearthed. There is no one who can rekindle the memories for her, she has no chance." He stopped talking, but Yuki waited patiently for him to regain composure. "So, over time, Saki and Arisa may be able to help Tohru remember."

"This means Tohru can remember all of the times that she spent with us?" Yuki's voice was hopeful.

"Ideally, yes. But Yuki, before you get too excited..."

"Yes...?" Yuki's smile faded. He didn't like the tone of voice Hatori was using.

"There is a chance that if the lost information is rediscovered too quickly, it may be too much for her."

"Nothing horrible can happen to her...will it?" Yuki didn't want to gamble with Tohru's life, she was too important to him. If she would not remember them, so be it, as long as she would be safe. 

"It's all speculation, Yuki, so nothing is for sure. The emotional stress may cause physical weakness."

"We are a risk to Tohru's life, for her to remember us is for her to have pain..."

"Yes.... I had the idea of leaving memories in Saki and Arisa previously, but I didn't plan on going through with it. But once they were both in my office, I couldn't take Tohru's chance to regain her memories away. So I merely erased their knowledge of them ever being at my office."

"You didn't do that for Kana? Even if no one else would remember, you could always be the one to remind her. As long as you are alive, there is always a chance for Kana."

"I want her to have a perfect life, I wouldn't want her to remember her pain. She couldn't have that if I were with her. Kana had a wonderful life to fall back on. Tohru-san, she had many troubles before, she lived alone with her beloved mother to guide her. She needs us, and we need her. It cannot be us to help her, we are forbidden. But who said we cannot help someone who can?"

"We do need her...probably more than she needs us." Yuki said glumly.

Worry showed on Hatori's face. "Do you think it was selfish of me?"

"No. You understand Tohru, I can tell. I know she would have wanted this."

  


  


  


  


  


  


  


_*   
'Please, if I do have to lose my memories, promise me that you will become my friend again, okay?'_

'I promise, Honda-san.'   
*

________________________

  
  


**Author Notes:**   
Fourth chapter; Uploaded April 30th 2003.   
_I uploaded two chapters in one day, go me! XD Chapters 3 and 4 were actually intended to be one chapter, but it seemed too long in comparison to the first two chapters, so I split it. I was a little mean to Kyou in this chapter. Poor Kyou, I'm sorry Kyou-pookins! *huggles him* I still love him, hehe. I was trying to add humour in this chapter, but I'm not a humour writer, so I have no idea how I did. =/_   
I do not own the rights to any of the characters mentioned in this fan fiction.

**Language Translations:**   
Hai - Yes


	5. Walking to the Home I Remember

**Seeking Solace**  
Walking to the Home I Remember

________________________

Kyou was outside the house, lying on the roof. He had been out there for quite a while, waiting for signs of Yuki, Shigure and Hatori ending their conversation. Namely, the sound of Hatori's car pulling out of their driveway.

The conversation taking place in the house worried him. He was so close, but he couldn't hear a single word. It made him nervous. Once again, he was left out of the happenings of the Sohma clan. Why? Because he was the cat. _ It's always because of the cat. Damn them all. _

As he thought about it, he grew more angry. He tried to calm himself by focussing his attention on the clouds. They moved slightly, changing shapes over time. Even the brightest cloud eventually faded in colour as the darkness of the evening set in. He must have been outside for several hours since then. Finally, as he saw the first stars appear, he jumped off the roof, landing on his feet. He couldn't stand to simply lie there anymore. He remembered that he still had homework to do, but there was no way that he was going back inside. At least, not when the others were still there to torment him.

He decided to go out for a long walk. He headed down the street past several fields. He merely wandered, not really caring where he was going.

He eventually found himself walking downtown, the business district of their city. It was virtually silent, except for the soft sound of cars whizzing by every once in a while. He saw a blanketed man sitting in a bus shelter to keep warm, with nowhere else to go. The stores were closed, and most of the buildings' lights were off. Only the street lights illuminated the little city. Kyou decided that Hatori must have left by then, and the others would most likely be asleep. 

A door creaked loudly at a building several metres ahead of him. A girl wearing a Kaibara Highschool uniform stepped out, and closed the door behind her. The brunette walked with a little bounce in her step, happy and carefree. The way she walked was very familiar.

Tohru. Kyou remembered when Tohru used to take his hand in hers and walk just like that. It would have been the perfect memory, but Yuki's hand was always held in her other hand. Even so, those were the days. He wished that he had appreciated them more at the time.

He shook his head and frowned. He had taught her to act serious when she was alone, especially at night, since it would make her less likely to be attacked. The way she was acting right then would make her a prime target to any wandering hoodlum. He couldn't really expect her to remember his teachings, but that wasn't going to stop him from yelling at her mentally to stop acting so stupid.

"Ahh!" Kyou was startled out of his thoughts by the short, surprised scream of Tohru ahead of him. She dropped down on the sidewalk near the intersection, and was leaning forward examining her hands. It was very dark, but as he walked closer, he could tell that she was trying not to cry by the way that she hiccupped. He ran forward.

"Hey!"

Her body jumped a little at the sound of his voice. Her hands dropped to the ground as she looked up. "Sohma-san! What are you - "

"Never mind that, Tohru, what's wrong with you?"

She explained the situation to him in her quick voice. "In the dim light, I missed the curb and started to fall backwards. Luckily, I caught myself before hitting the ground full force by throwing my arms behind me, but..." She showed him the palms of her hands. They were both scraped pretty badly, and her right hand was bleeding a little bit.

"Tch, that's what you get for being so careless." He said it in his harsh tone.

Her face saddened. "I'm sorry, Sohma-san."

He realized how rough he must have sounded. "You don't have to say you're sorry. Remember, they are your hands."

Tohru nodded as he helped her to her feet. "You've got to keep in mind that you need to be careful when you are alone. You know the creepy types of people who are out this late."

"Oh? Hai! I'll try to be more careful, Sohma-san. I nearly forgot, what are you doing out here at this time of night?" She smiled and then paused to think for a second. "Ehhh, what am I thinking? I don't mean to insinuate that you are an awful type of person because you are out late. Sohma-san, please forgive - "

"Hey, don't worry about it." Kyou couldn't help but laugh a little, he was delighted and annoyed at the same time. He remembered another time before her memory loss when she had thought he was a pervert in the night. It was strange that the same sort of event was occurring again. "Oh yeah, and no need for 'Sohma-san,' that's way too weird for my ears to hear. Just call me 'Kyou,' alright?"

"Okay, Kyou-kun." Tohru saying his name was music to his ears.

"You want me to walk you home? Not because I really want to, but it would be convenient for us both. Besides, something could happen to you if I'm not with you." He felt stupid as soon as he said it, but he couldn't take it back now.

"If you really wouldn't mind me being with you, I'd like that," she said shyly. Although she didn't know Kyou very well yet, she felt really comfortable around him.

They walked through the streets with light-hearted conversations. Most of it was about things at school. Kyou made sure to mention subjects which he knew she enjoyed.

They reached the corner of the first Sohma-owned field. Kyou already knew that they would have to split ways so he stopped and looked towards the forest.

"Wow, Kyou, how did you know that I had to turn here?" 

"I'm psychic," he joked with a grin.

"Really? Have you talked to Saki Hanajima? You two would get along great since you have a similar hobby." Tohru nodded knowingly.

He cringed a little at thought of Tohru's frightening friend, but his companion didn't notice. "I was just kidding. You always take me so seriously." _ Always? Wow. I'm an idiot. Think before you speak, Kyou! This is supposed to be the first real conversation we've had! _

After thinking it through, Tohru laughed. "Oh, I get it now! Well, I'll see you tomorrow at school." She bowed and with a final wave, she turned to start down the pathway into the forest. The wave gave him a glimpse of her hand, which looked sore.

"Wait a second, Tohru!" Without thinking, Kyou grabbed her wrist, bringing her back to face him. She gasped a little at his touch, but she didn't pull away. He had pulled her closer than he expected to, and he could feel his face flush.

"H-hai?" She asked expectantly, looking up to meet his eyes. She was flustered by his closeness.

"Your hands." He released her wrist, turned her hand over and studied it. Although her palm was irritated, the rest of her hand was perfect. He rushed through his words. "You'll need to clean them well so they don't get infected. I have a first-aid kit at my house. I know this isn't a serious injury, but you don't want it to get worse, right?"

Tohru thought about it for a minute before answering. She knew that the only way to clean out the scrapes would be to use the creek water until she got to school the next morning. That water wouldn't be very sanitary. "That's so kind of you, Kyou-kun." She stepped back and smiled.

"Let's go." He dropped her hand awkwardly, and led her down the path towards the house.

Kyou worried as they drew closer to the house. He could already tell that Hatori had left by the empty driveway. But he still had no idea if Shigure or Yuki were asleep yet. He knew that they would both freak out if they knew he was bringing Tohru home with him late at night, especially Yuki. And if Akito somehow found out, he would be as good as dead. It had to be about 12:30 or maybe even 1:00 by then. Kyou crossed his fingers as he opened the door.

"Shh, my cousins are probably sleeping." Kyou warned her. He opened the front door, and was met with a dark hallway. He slid the door closed once they were both inside and turned on the hallway light.

Tohru whispered quietly to him, "Wow, what a cute house you live in. It seems like such a welcoming place." She noted the casual appearance of the furniture and the nice paintings on the wall. She felt at ease as she followed her red-haired classmate into the kitchen. 

He turned the light on in the kitchen, unveiling piles of dirty dishes and an overfilling garbage can. "Er, ignore the mess. No one's gotten around to cleaning in a while." Tohru put her hand up to her temple as a scene flashed to her head.

  


  


  


  


  


  


  


_*   
'Are you sure you don't need any help cleaning the kitchen? I know it's a big job...' A violet-eyed boy stood next to her, not wanting to leave her to clean his family's kitchen all by herself._

'Don't worry, I can do it! Honda Tohru never gives up!' Tohru had a determined smile on her face.   
*

  


  


  


  


  


  


  


Tohru closed her eyes, and her head started to ache. "You okay? I didn't think the mess would upset you so much."

She immediately opened her eyes. "No, it's not that at all! Don't worry about me. I just got a sudden headache. I'll be okay." 

She flashed him a reassuring smile, and joined Kyou at the kitchen table. Kyou had a white box in his hand, and pulled out some cotton balls and some rubbing alcohol. "This is going to hurt a bit, but it'll only hurt for a second." She flinched as he rubbed the cotton ball against the skin of her hands, but just as he said, the pain went away after a few seconds. On her right hand, he attached a bandage to cover the scratches. "There you go." He nodded, admired his handiwork, then stood up.

Before Tohru could even thank him, Kyou brought a finger to his lips to keep her quiet. He looked up at the ceiling, and they could both hear slow footsteps coming from upstairs. His face darkened, and he whispered to her, "Damn, someone woke up. You've got to go quickly." He ushered her out of the kitchen to the front door, practically pushing her to get her to move faster. "Sorry, I'll probably see you tomorrow."

He quickly closed the door, not even giving Tohru a chance to say goodbye. Facing the closed door, she felt a little hurt. But she knew that he didn't mean anything by it, and it was just bad luck that someone had woken up. Pushing those thoughts aside, she headed on her way to her tent. She made sure to be cautious and aware of her surroundings, just as Kyou had instructed her earlier in the night.

It had been a long night. As soon as she reached her tent, she snuggled into her sleeping bag and fell fast asleep.

________________________

  
  


**Author Notes:**   
Fifth chapter; Uploaded May 3rd 2003.   
_Aww, caring Kyou! XD I hope he isn't out of character...I'm a bad judge of my own writing. A good thing, I just bought the second English Fruits Basket DVD today. With a ten dollars off coupon, no less! ^_^ I can't wait to hear Hatsuharu's voice. ^^;;_   
I do not own the rights to any of the characters mentioned in this fan fiction.

**Language Translations:**   
Hai - Yes


	6. Once They Find Out

**Seeking Solace**  
Once They Find Out

________________________

Kyou hated to force Tohru to leave so abruptly, but he was taking no chances of getting caught with her in the house. He hastily shoved the first-aid kit back into the cupboard where it belonged, closing the door with a thud. The slow footsteps crept down the stairs in uneven strides. As they neared the bottom of the stairwell, Kyou could tell the zombie-like form that was coming closer was Yuki.

Kyou prepared a dialogue in his head, working out the lines he would dictate to tell Yuki off for the way that he had been treated by him and Shigure earlier in the night. He opened his mouth to speak, but Yuki simply passed by him and poured himself a glass of water. Kyou bit his tongue as Yuki proceeded on his strenuous trip back up the stairs, one hand in his messy lavender hair.

Kyou sighed. There was no way that he was going to pick a fight with Yuki tonight; he was deadly whenever he was exhausted. Maybe tomorrow.

________________________

The next morning, Tohru woke to the sound of dreary rain and wind. Without even stepping outside of her tent, she knew that it was going to be a sombre day. She learned that the ground that she had placed her tent on was not quite level, for water had leaked into the tent and collected in shallow pools near the doorway.

_ I cannot last much longer out here in the woods alone, Okaa-san. I'm afraid that I'm going to get sick from this damp weather. Oh no! I just realized something. Since I was so tired after being at Kyou's house, I went right to bed without touching my homework. I'm sorry, Okaa-san, but it's not too late to redeem myself! If I leave now, I may still have time to finish it! _

________________________

"Wow, Tohru.... If it's not my imagination, you look a little stressed." Uotani had walked into their classroom to find a frantic Tohru, who was furiously writing out math equations. She had been there for half an hour already, but had only finished seven of the thirty five questions. And with only fifteen minutes remaining until class started, there was little hope. 

Calculator in hand, Tohru looked up to the clock, and then up to face her friends. "Uo-chan! Hana-chan!" 

Uotani took a seat on top of the desk in front of Tohru and looked at the work, reading upside down. With a careless expression, she said, "Ah, the trigonometry homework. I forgot about it." 

"You're not worried?" Tohru asked, as she tapped values into her calculator. Before Uotani could answer, Tohru stared at the answer which had appeared on the screen. "Ara! This answer doesn't even make sense!"

"Tohru-kun should not worry so much," Hanajima advised. "Kyoko-san always said that you should try your best, but once in a while, it is alright for you to give yourself a break." She smiled as she sensed Tohru's waves. Her signals were more positive than they had been lately.

"You really think so?" Tohru asked. "You're right, that does sound like Okaa-san." She smiled, set down her pen and prepared her books for class. She stretched her arms, exposing the neat bandage on her palm that had earlier been hidden under the clenched pencil.

"Oy, Tohru, what happened to your hand?" Uo asked, curiously examining the unbandaged hand which still bore visible scrape marks.

"It's nothing, really! You don't need to worry." Tohru pulled back her hand so that she could wave her arms in protest.

"No one tried to hurt you, did they?" Hanajima inquired, her eyes squinting slightly.

"No, no, no! Nothing like that at all. On the way home from work, I feel down and hurt myself." She touched the side of her head with a grasped fist. "Clumsy me. Oh, yes! That reminds me of something a little funny. Yesterday, you guys said that Yuki or Kyou should walk me home from work for some reason. Well, after I fell, Kyou found me and helped me bandage up the largest scrape." She giggled. "Hana-chan, you really are a talented psychic. It was very kind of him, ne?"

Hana nodded in agreement. She suddenly sensed an increase of energy in the room. Without turning around towards its source, she said. "Ara, speak of the devil. He enters."

Tohru turned towards the door, and confirmed. "You're right! I must thank him, I never got a chance to do so last night. I'll be right back!" She walked towards the entrance of the room. 

Kyou had joined two of their classmates, merely standing there without contributing anything to their conversation. She would have felt more at ease speaking to him alone, but it would have to do. Feeling brave, she walked up to the three of them.

"Good morning, Kyou-kun, Yasashiku-san, Shinichi-san," she greeted warmly. "Kyou-kun, I'm sorry to bother you so close to the start of class, but I wanted to thank you for last night." Shinichi raised one of his eyebrows. "I hope that you didn't get into any trouble with your family because I was at your house so late." She bowed, fearing the worse. "I'm so sorry, Kyou-kun! Let me - "

Kyou stopped her. "Geeze, calm down, it wasn't a big deal." She stopped bowing immediately and straightened up. "You make it sound like I was heroic or something, I just bandaged your hand like any good person would do." He forced himself to sound indifferent, but he couldn't help but wonder if she was okay. He paused. "Are you alright now?"

Yasashiku, a tall boy with reddish-brown hair, couldn't help but laugh at the scene in front of him. In an overly dramatic voice, he stated, "Gentle Kyon-kyon! Healing the wounds of Honda-san. You truly have a caring nature hiding under your brash exterior."

Shinichi, who was shorter than Yasashiku but still taller than Tohru, joined in. "Yeah, I still remember when all those cats of yours came into the class. They must really be cared for if they came all the way out to see you here. Just a lover of all creatures, that's all that you are."

"Those weren't even my cats! I don't even own a pet!" Kyou scowled, hating the curse and all the useless things that came with it. At times, the animals that they represent would seek them out and 'visit' them unexpectedly. It always seemed to happen in this worst of circumstances; it was very bothersome.

Tohru watched Kyou as his temper rose, but he had yet to lose control. She froze in place, hoping that he would not erupt into a heated battle, like she had seen at the junior highschool. The battle she had caught a glimpse of between Kyou and Hatsuharu had been a little frightening. 

Yasashiku remained silent. He always knew when to stop, and he wasn't about to test Kyou's limits. Unlike Yasashiku, Shinichi didn't have a poetic flare to his words. He simply looked for the easiest way to get a rise out of people. It was such fun to tease. Shinichi slid past Kyou towards Tohru. "Ne, Tohru-kun," he whispered loudly to her, draping an arm behind her back, his chin practically resting on her shoulder. "Did Kyou-kun take really good 'care' of you last night?"

Kyou's mouth dropped open. _ Just what the hell is going on here? How can he ask_ that _ kind of question? And to _ Tohru _ of all people! She's way too dense to know what he's talking about! _

Kyou could tell that Tohru was nervous, she shifted her body, moving her head away. He was much too close for her liking. "Eto...." She knew that there was something more to the question than she knew, because Kyou seemed to be giving her a strange look. She didn't no what else to say. "Eto...hai?" 

Yasashiku couldn't help but let out a chuckle, saying "Way to go, Kyou." under his breath.

Tohru looked at her shoes, and continued softly, "And my hand does feel better."

As much as he didn't want to start a fight in front of Tohru, Kyou couldn't just stand there and let Shinichi tease her because of him. "Get your grubby little hands off of her!" Kyou growled, a glint of anger in his eyes.

The chatter in the classroom stopped at the outburst; their conversation had an audience. Uotani and Hanajima looked up from their seats, and quickly came to see what the trouble was. Yuki, who had entered the room not very long before the shout, observed them from his nearby desk with a look of surprise on his face.

Shinichi didn't move, fearing the wrath of the boy standing before him. _ That stare he has. Like a cat's, it's truly haunting. I can't show fear, hide behind my comical mask. _ He stepped back, and dropped his hands to his side. He made a slight motion with one hand to Yasashiku, and they headed to their seats. With a goofy grin, he said to him, "You see? He does care, that proves it. He won't let anyone else have her."

"Too bad." Yasashiku said quietly, once he knew that he was out of earshot. "If _ he _ wasn't around, I'd bet that Honda-san would be easily persuaded, ne?"

"I didn't think that a girl, even a girl as dumb as her, would run off to his house at night. Did you see that look he gave me? He's such a freak. I think most girls would know enough to stay away from that guy."

"You didn't think that before, you're just saying that 'cause you're afraid of him. Yasashiku laughed. Passing Yuki along the way, they walked down the aisle until they reached their desks at the far corner of the room.

Yuki watched them get to their seats, then looked up to Kyou and Tohru, who still remained where they were. Tohru was looking at the ground until she looked up to give Kyou a smile. _ A girl as dumb as her would run off to his house at night? What was all that? _ Yuki replayed the conversation in his mind, and remembered the tail-end of the dispute. All signs pointed to it, Kyou had Tohru over, and it greatly worried him. Kyou could trigger memories for Tohru so strong that it would break her physically. _ Something has to be done. _

________________________

  
  


**Author Notes:**   
Sixth chapter; Uploaded May 14th 2003.   
_Yuki's planning, dun nun nun! *giggles* Yasashiku and Shinichi are my own creations made for this story. I'm not sure if they will ever appear again, who knows yet. Maybe at the dance which will occur eventually...Shinichi calls her Tohru-kun even though he doesn't know her well, which was supposed to show that he's really casual (and rude too). Yasashiku always calls her Honda-san._   
I do not own the rights to any of the characters mentioned in this fan fiction. (except for Yasashiku and Shinichi, of course)

**Language Translations:**   
Hai - Yes   
Ara - Oh my   
Eto - Um   
Oy - Hey


	7. Protection from the Protector

**Seeking Solace**  
Protection From the Protector

________________________

As soon as Shinichi was gone, Tohru sighed in relief. The entire situation had made her very nervous.

"Arigatou, Kyou-kun." Once again, he was her protector. She gave him an appreciative smile. She would have to find a way to return his kindness, for sure.

Kyou made a small noise in his throat in response, just to say that he heard her. He didn't no what else to say. Luckily for him, Hanajima and Uotani had surrounded her and were asking her questions, while Tohru tried to convince them that she was perfectly alright.

"So what exactly happened here?" Uotani eventually demanded.

"You know," Tohru admitted, "I'm not really sure..."

________________________

"Kyou." After the bell rang, signalling that it was time for lunch, Yuki ran to catch up with the cat. "I need to talk to you."

"What? Why should I?!" Kyou's day had not been a good one. Actually, his whole week seemed to be horrible. The rain that pounded against the windows made his mood even more foul.

"Kyou, it's about Tohru." Yuki paused, but continued. "It's about last night's discussion. For Tohru, please."

Kyou crossed his arms across his chest. _ For Tohru, huh? _ "Tch, fine."

"Great. We've got to meet up with Haru and Momiji, too. I told them to meet us in the back field."

"Is this really so serious?" Kyou gave him a unsure look. He didn't like the sound of this.

Yuki nodded as he opened the back door, leading the way to their meeting place.

________________________

"Hey, hey!" Momiji sang as they drew close.

"Hello Yuki, Kyou." Haru greeted.

"I'm glad you're both here already. I can't stay for long, since I have a meeting with the other members of the student council in a few minutes." Yuki warned them, already looking at his watch.

"Hurry it up, will you? Tell us what you know already!" Kyou didn't want to beat around the bush, he just wanted to know the truth.

"What's all this about?" Momiji asked, sensing that Kyou wasn't angry, just worried.

"Well," Yuki began to explain, "Last night, I spoke with Hatori and Shigure. I found out that two of Tohru's best friends, Saki Hanajima and Arisa Uotani, had not had their memories of us erased. Since they still know, they still think that Tohru is living with us, and that we are all still one happy family unit."

"Eh?!" Momiji exclaimed. "Really? Hatori missed them?"

Yuki shook his head. "No, he did it on purpose. He wanted her to have a chance to remember what was taken away from her."

"Really. That doesn't sound like Hatori, defying Akito like that." Haru mused.

"This is good news then! Tohru can remember us, as long as we keep away from Akito's watchful eye! Hooray!" Momiji twirled on one foot in happiness.

"Unfortunately...." Yuki trailed off, and Momiji stopped in mid-swirl.

"What, you don't want to be remembered?" Momiji's smile disappeared.

"No, that's not it. I want that more than anything else. But there's a problem. Tohru can eventually remember us by learning through those who still remember her living with us, but she can get hurt. If she regains memories too quickly, she might be overloaded and get sick - or worse."

Silence overtook the quartet. Finally, Yuki continued. "We four of the juunishi are the ones who are in contact with Honda-san the most. Actually, Haru, has she met you again?"

"No, but we will be in the same highschool once exams are over." Haru reminded him.

"Oh yeah! I pointed out Haru to Tohru when he and Kyou were having an argument. So she does know _ of _ him." Momiji confessed. "I guess I shouldn't have done that."

"Ah. Well, there isn't much chance that she will meet Shigure again. I'm just glad that she hadn't met any of the other members of the juunishi, or this situation could be much more complicated. We've got to be careful that we don't instill any unwanted memories into her." Yuki frowned. "I don't want anything to happen to her."

"And Kyou." Yuki turned towards the cat. "You can't be so close to Tohru like you were today. I'm not going to ask you why she was at our house last night, but I have to ask you to stay away from her." Yuki had a tone in his voice which clearly showed that he wasn't asking; he was stating the way it would have to be.

"Like you haven't been talking to her too, Yuki," Kyou accused. "I'll bet that you talk to her every chance that you get, don't you?"

"There's a difference. I think before I speak, I can control myself. You always screw everything up! Who knows what kind of damage that you've already caused her. Bringing her to the house where she shared so many good times with us, what a brilliant idea." Sarcasm rang out of Yuki's mouth. He wasn't sure what had possessed him to speak that way. _ The words I have always wished to say, they flow out of me like water. Honda-san, I'm sorry, but I don't want him to hurt you. No one should ever hurt you. Even if I have to keep someone I know you care about away from you, I will do it, just for you. _ "The cat is a fool."

A hand touched Yuki's shoulder, cutting off the flow. It was Haru. "Yuki, calm down." 

Kyou thought back to when he had let Tohru into the kitchen; she had told him that she had a slight headache. _ It's all my fault. It's always my fault, isn't it? _ "You always think that you are so much better than anyone else, mister prince, you always look down on everybody else! What gives you the right to declare the way things should be?!" Kyou could feel the anger pulsing through him, but he could still see an image of Tohru in his mind, smiling, asking him to settle down, taking his hand.

Yuki stood, taking in Kyou's words.

"Ne, Yuki-kun? You're missing your meeting." Momiji reminded him.

Yuki nodded. To Kyou he said, "Don't do anything stupid." Without another word, he headed towards the school.

________________________

_ What a horrible night's sleep. After Hatori left and Yuki went to sleep last night, I couldn't get myself to doze off. It was very strange, almost as if I could still hear Tohru's voice down in the kitchen. Stress must be getting to me if I'm imagining such things. _ Shigure walked down the stairs of the empty house and into the kitchen. An empty milk carton from breakfast was left on the table, a telltale sign that Kyou had eventually come home after he stormed out. Shigure had slept in late that day, and it was already time for lunch. Grogginess fogged his mind as he stepped slowly around the kitchen to make his breakfast. It was such a strange feeling.

He started to read the newspaper while eating some toast, but his mind wasn't concentrating on the characters written on the newsprint. He kept on thinking about the conversation between himself, Hatori and Yuki regarding Tohru. _ Everyone was so willing to disobey Akito, members of his own clan. Of course, he had caused pain to every person in the family on a routine basis, but they didn't seem to worry much about the consequences. Akito always had ways of finding out information. No matter how much you hid a secret, he always knew. How would he take the news when he finds out, as he always does? More punishment, more anger, more darkness. _ Shigure's mood was darkening the more he thought about it.

Regret swarmed his mind for what he was about to do. Even Hatori, the one Akito trusted his life to, had betrayed him. Shigure stood up, brushing away his toast crumbs from his clothes. He reached the phone. _ I'm sorry, Tohru-kun, Ha-san. I think this is for the best. This is the only way I can protect our family... _

________________________

  
  


**Author Notes:**   
Seventh chapter; Uploaded May 14th 2003, Edited June 3rd.   
_Yuki gets angry. (he's acting a little Akito-ish too...) I know, barely anything happens in this chapter...You'll have to wait for the next update! The next chance I have to update is after the Anime North Convention. I'm really looking forward to going, I'm hoping to find Fruits Basket and Ayashi no Ceres merchandise! *dances around* I'm wearing a costume too, Kaguya from the manga series Planet Ladder. Whee! (I realize I sound hyper, don't mind me...)_   
I do not own the rights to any of the characters mentioned in this fan fiction.

**Language Translations:**   
Hai - Yes   
Arigatou - Thank You   
Eh - What


	8. To A New Beginning

**Seeking Solace**  
To A New Beginning

________________________

"Momiji-kun? Is everything all right? You don't seem to be yourself today." Tohru was sitting at the desk beside him, voice filled with worry.

"Eh? You think so?" Momiji asked, without any enthusiasm.

It was another Helping Hands meeting, and once again, Tohru was trying her best to be a good counsellor to Momiji. Tohru couldn't shake off the feeling that something was troubling him. Throughout their conversations that day, he was merely nodding and saying "I see," and "Is that so?" in the appropriate places. He didn't seem to be as animated and bright as he had been the week before.

Tohru frowned, and allowed herself to worry about him as the silence between them grew. It was hard to have a talk with him when their conversations were so one sided. Finally, she spoke. "Momiji-kun, could you please tell me what's wrong?"

Momiji shook his head and looked to his shoes, several locks of his blond hair falling out of place. "I'm sorry, Tohru, I can't say."

"Alright," she said uncertainly, "but if you do need to talk, you can come to me anytime you want. It's never fun to be upset, and it's easier to become happy again with the help of your friends."

"Thanks, Toh-ru. I appreciate that a lot." He couldn't help it, he said her name in the sing-song voice he had grown accustomed to using with her. Momiji was trying his best to follow Yuki's directions: 'Don't act in the carefree way that you normally do. That may remind her of the way that things used to be, and will cause her pain. So try not to say things that will rekindle her memories.' _ It's so hard, Yuki. Even a 'nobody' like me, someone she barely knows and has met with only once before, troubles her. I can tell by the way she looks at me that she cares about my well-being. Not because she feels sorry for me because I am cursed, but because I am a person. She doesn't want me to be upset, and I don't want her to be upset because of me. I don't understand what to do, Yuki. Toh-ru, what should I do? _ Momiji smiled a little bit to show that he wasn't mad at her.

Tohru smiled back, and they sat together without speaking, absorbing the sounds of the other students. Finally, she opened her backpack and pulled out several books. She chose one from the middle of the pile, and then pushed the remaining towards him. "Would you like to read one?"

Momiji looked through the pile of books, then glanced at the one in her hands, surprised at what he saw. "Ehh? You're reading about the Chinese Zodiac?"

"That's right!" Tohru hugged the book against her chest. "My mother always used to tell me different stories about the animals of the juunishi, and I wanted to relive the adventures. Okaa-san and I used to read this book together, and it was almost as if I was living alongside those very same animals." Seeing the bewildered expression on his face, Tohru began to feel a little embarrassed about saying anything about it. "Maybe I was just a strange child." She laughed a little. "But recently, I realized that I couldn't remember parts of the legend anymore, so I borrowed this book from the library. The Zodiac was important to me for some reason. It seems a little hazy. I'm not sure why I was suddenly thinking about those animals these last few days."

"You like the animals of the juunishi?" Momiji asked, a smile forming on his face.

She nodded. "Of course! All the animals are all very important. Every single one."

________________________

The weather remained dreary for the rest of the week, and Tohru found that her tent that she had grown to call 'home' simply wasn't going to cut it anymore. With her savings, she was able to rent a small room; and to keep it she would have to put nearly every cent she earned towards the rent payment. It was definitely worth it. They had a finished basement which was accessible from a door in the backyard. The room was small, but it came with a bed, a dresser, and a small end table. She even had access to the basement bathroom. It was perfect.

_ Okaa-san, I've finally made a place for myself now. I'm sure that I'll be able to work more hours to be able to keep this home. I hope that you're proud of me in heaven._

"So when can we visit?" Uo asked Tohru after she had told her and Hanajima about her new residence.

"Yes, Tohru-chan, I would like to see your new home as well. I want to make sure that it is a suitable place for you to live." Hanajima smiled, and nodded to Uotani. _ She truly has parted ways from the Sohma household. Though I still worry about what has happened between the three of them, both Yuki and Kyou seem to care.... Yuki's eyes still showed great care for her when I confronted him about her, and Kyou did his best to take care of Tohru when she hurt herself. Maybe nothing is wrong at all, maybe we are over reacting. But still, something is off balance, I just cannot place what that is yet. _

"Whenever you are both free will be fine." Tohru smiled, and turned to Uotani. "Are you working today after school, Uo-chan?"

"Yeah, but not until after supper today. I'll have time to drop by."

"Alright! Then you're both invited to come today! Though I'll warn you, it isn't much, but it's really good for the price."

________________________

Shigure walked back and forth in his traditional robe, gripping his phone with both hands. There was no reply, just the endless sound of ringing in his ear. _ It has to be done. _ He tried again, redialing the number he knew only too well. Finally, someone answered on the fifth ring.

"Please let me speak to Akito." He requested in a polite yet demanding tone.

"I'm very sorry," the voice of one of Akito's servants replied, " but he is not well and cannot receive calls. He's with Hatori at the moment. His cold has worsened, and he needs to be tended to."

"I see," Shigure sighed.

"Would you like to leave a message?" the servant asked.

"That's alright, I'll try again another day." He hung up the phone very quickly, hoping that they had not upgraded their phones to have call display. He didn't want any questions from Hatori about why he had called.

_ You still have some time. I hope that you'll be careful in light of the current situation. I know that I will have to tell _ him _ eventually; it's always me who has to report back to _ him, _ isn't it? It's my smiling face that lets me deceive you all, you know, sometimes I feel bad about it. A little. At least I can have some fun until I have to tell him, since teasing you all about Tohru is my specialty. _

The author clamoured down the stairs with a light dance in his step and headed to his study for another long day of work.

________________________

With school out for the day, Uotani, Hanajima and Tohru met at their lockers so that they could walk home together. Once they were sure that they had all of their necessary books, they headed out the front door. Kyou was not far ahead of them, and once in while, he turned his head to see if the trio were still behind them. He picked up the pace and made sure to keep his distance. He did promise to avoid unnecessarily meeting with Tohru, and he had grumpily agreed to it.

He crossed the street, heading in the general direction of Shigure's house. But now, Tohru and her friends had turned the corner and were now heading in the opposite direction. He slowed down to his normal speed and walked leisurely home, a small part of him wondering if she was going to Hana or Uo's house for the afternoon.

________________________

"This is it!" Tohru exclaimed as they reached the house. "Isn't it pretty?"

It was quite pretty, it had a small flower garden in a circle shape along side a sand coloured interlocking brick pathway. The path led to the front door and the garage. It was simple, yet elegant. But looking down the street was a peculiar sight. Their yard was similar to every other yard on the street, down to the same type of flowers. Luckily, their garage door was painted a pale green colour, distinguishing it from the others.

"Perhaps they all hired the same landscaping company," Hanajima said as she examined the street. It would have been a little more startling, but she eventually noticed that the house on the corner was different - it had a row of flourescent pink flamingos stuck in the garden below the windows. She couldn't help but shudder.

She and Uo started walking up the path, but Tohru gently led them behind the garage. "Actually, there's a backdoor entrance. This way!" They rounded the corner to see that a set of stairs ran along the side of the house which lead to the door. Uo bounded down the stairs, skipping several steps on the way and waited at the bottom for Hanajima and Tohru to show up.

Slipping the key into the hole in the door, Tohru opened it and allowed them access to a hall with three doors. Upon closing the door behind them, Tohru noticed light reflecting on two orbs that were smaller than a marble in the corner by the door on the left side. She pulled a metal chain hanging from the ceiling which illuminated the small hallway with a gentle glow.

The two orbs belonged to a small, furry creature. With the sudden change in light, the fluffy, grey mouse looked between the three in surprise. Uo jumped a little when she saw it; she was glad that neither Tohru nor Hana had noticed her fright. She felt silly. Hana stared at it, and muttered under breath, "what state of cleanliness must this house have to have rodents?" Tohru didn't seem to register any surprise at all on her face. She looked at it for several seconds. Sensing that it felt trapped and isolated, she opened the back door again, and the mouse scurried out of sight into the outdoors.

"Ara, Tohru-chan." Hana said after Tohru had once again closed the door. "Have you seen any other mice here so far? Living with rodents isn't safe."

"Actually, that was the first mouse I've ever seen here." Tohru smiled and opened the rightmost door of the three which was her bedroom.

"You're quite brave then, Tohru, I thought that you would have screamed or something." Uo laughed as they entered the room.

"I'm used to them, I guess." Tohru replied, not quite sure where she would ever have gotten used to being around mice.

The three girls stood in the doorway to the room as Hanajima and Uotani scrutinized the room.

"It's very...small," Uo said finally, "but it is a rather nice place for the price!"

"It's not quite becoming of Tohru-chan," Hana assessed, "it seems rather sterile. The white walls, white ceiling, light pine furniture.... it is visibly empty."

"Hey, we can spice up a little bit. Maybe add a mirror over there on the while, some pictures and books on a shelf, a paint job for the walls." Uo surveyed the room again, trying to picture Tohru's dream room.

"Oh, it's fine for now, really!" Tohru tried to convince them. "I would like a little colour eventually, but that will have to wait until I can save up more money."

"You are allowed to paint the walls, right?" Uo asked, still set on making the room more homely.

"Well, yes." Tohru paused to think, then told them, "They may want to paint over it eventually, so I can paint the walls any colour as long as it isn't too dark of a colour like navy or black."

"What a dreadful shame," Hanajima thought out loud with a sigh, looking down at the black cloak that she had folded in her arms.

_ Tohru wouldn't be one to choose black walls anyways. _ Uo laughed again, imagining what it would be like if Tohru suddenly donned a flowing black dress with dark, gothic eye makeup. "What is it?" Tohru asked her curiously.

"It's nothing at all."

"I suppose that since you like it, you will be happy here." Hanajima said, giving the room one last once-over. "It doesn't seem to have the atmosphere or energy of your last residence, but it will definitely be alright."

Tohru smiled. "Thank you, both of you, for accepting my choice."

"Think nothing of it, we just want to make sure you're safe." Uotani grinned.

________________________

  
  


**Author Notes:**   
Eighth chapter; Uploaded June 3rd 2003.   
_I forgot to mention this earlier, words in my works are spelt the Canadian way. (ie: colour instead of color). Just in case any Americans read it and think I'm making an error, hehehe. I can't believe how long it took me to write this chapter. I had all these notes written for it, it was just getting around to writing it up. It's been a busy few weeks, I cannot believe it. School's so close to being finished though....only three more weeks._   
I do not own the rights to any of the characters mentioned in this fan fiction.

**Language Translations:**   
Okaa-san - Mother   
Juunishi - members of the Chinese Zodiac   
Ara - Oh My


End file.
